Saturday, 26 March 2016

Autumn comes

I'm dragging myself, worn, damaged and battle weary, away from summer and into the arms of Autumn.  The days are beautiful!  Cool and gentle mornings begin with birds telling me they feel just as I do. They are warbling and trilling in a way I never heard through the hot, dry summer.
The sun's rays, so recently angry and cruel, now warm and caress me as I wander outside.  Like the phenomenon that is childbirth, I feel the pain of summer receding and the memories quickly fading.  Already I am preparing new garden beds in an attempt to create a shady oasis to protect me when next the heat attacks.
The human spirit is strong and I am able, each year, to gather enthusiasm and work with wonder as I watch the land renew.  The grass grows, hidden seeds burst through the soil and life becomes lush, abundant and healing for my soul.  The process happens annually without fail though I've realised lately the dreams and hopes are dimmed slightly.  Almost imperceptibly.  

The cycle continues with dreams and hope awakening.  My energy slowly recovers, hope puts a spring in my step as I toil stubbornly to create my dream.  When will I acknowledge that I am beaten; that I will never win the battle on this property we chose to make our home?
When will I learn? How many plants will I nurture through the gentle months to watch helplessly as they die a cruel, dry death?  

How many summer onslaughts can my dreams live through before they collapse and crumble, defeated, just another component of the dust in my yard?

The end

I laugh as I read this. Yes, it's how I feel but HOW dramatic!  It's just a post by way of explanation on my current mood and my reason for my absence.  The good, the bad and the ugly of trying to live sustainably while dealing with climate, lack of money and time, and still trying to raise a family.  I hope things are running smoother at your place.


Chris said...

We definitely have these moments too. Plants die in the heat of summer. But we're learning toom what grows and what won't. It will probably take us another decade, after already being at it for nine years - to have a more stable system to grow things in. But it helps to know, however small, progress IS being made.

You're doing great to keep plodding at what you're doing, because when people give up completely, that's when the land continues to degrade. We're sometimes fighting back a flood, but the benefits - however small, are worth it. :)

Cheryl said...

Oh it's good to see a post from you again!
Summer is tough, no denying it.
I basically don't grow in summer anymore, my problem is less from scorching heat, and more from humidity that sucks the life out of everyone and everything, and this summer was one of the most humid I've experienced since we moved here. we get so many fungal diseases from the humidity.
Don't apologise for the drama, I spotted the romance and poetry too, in the very first sentence!
Good to have you back :)

Bec said...

So glad your back! Sometimes living to the beat of your own drum is a tricky one but just think of all those lessons learnt out of hardships and even if you don't feel as though your learning anything I'm sure that your little people are learning more from your lifestyle than any text book out there. Hope your feeling better soon xx

Suzie Simplelife said...

Welcome back Linda...I have missed your blog and catching up with how Buddy and your other children are going. sounds like things have been a little tough for you over the last few months. It was a very hot summer...hopefully things look up as beautiful Autumn is now with us.

Meg said...

Hi, Linda. It has been a very long and witheringly-hot Summer and I am so glad that this week, finally, I've felt the first chilly touch of Autumn in the early morning breeze. Like Cheryl, I don't bother to plant anything out in my veggie patch over the Summer months anymore. It's just too hot for them and too hot for me out there!

Those harder aspects of life, whatever they may be, we all have them. Writing about them is not being overly dramatic. In my opinion, it's being real. It was really lovely to read a post from you again:)

Linda said...

Thanks for the boost guys! Every year I tell myself I won't garden through the summer months but every spring I can resist putting seedlings in. I always hope it will somehow be different. Perhaps I'll get it through my head this year if I keep putting it into words on here! Perhaps....?

purplepear said...

Oh Linda, I could have so easily have written this. Every year the same. But the pain is numbed come each Autumn only I wish it would truly come cos it's still so darn hot here.

Linda said...

I'm surprised to hear that Kate! I thought it would have cooled right down for you. We are well and truly into beautiful autumn weather now.

Fiona from Arbordale Farm said...

Linda glad to hear how you are getting on. It has been a loooong summer and now that we are in a rental we do not have the issues of the heat with gardens and animals. Summer just went way too long and I am so glad the cooler days of Autumn are finally here. I have been thinking of you over this very hot summer and I am sure that as you make changes to your property each summer will see you better prepared than the last.