Conscious slowing

I'm often driven by a frantic feeling of rush and tear.  This is partly due to the fact that I'm so determined to live a low carbon life that I try to do it all NOW.  Grow our veggies, cook all our food, raise animals for milk and meat.  Mend, sew, build....  The feeling is compounded by the responsibility of teaching my children at home.

Lately I've been reflecting on our busy lives because I've been panicking somewhat about my children's education. Trying to squeeze in lessons and still get organised in the veggie garden and on the farm.  Life was feeling crazily out of control with me sitting at the pivotal centre point. Pressure!

My scrap paper with shorter lists - what I get done is good enough

However, thinking about my alternatives (school) quickly snapped me out of it. I don't want my children in school.  And I certainly don't want them there just because I'm bad at time management!  That would not be the right reason to make such a major life change for them and for me.

Tossing up all my options had me thinking about the upsides to the way we do things and one of the biggest advantages is that we are not tied to other people's schedules.  We are masters of our own time.  With this in mind, I decided to shrug off that feeling of being constantly on the run.  We can only do, in a day, what is possible.  Besides, all the panicking in the world doesn't help me achieve more. 

We live a beautiful life full of gentle chores like caring for the animals, gardening, preparing food etc.  We go about our days on a hill with views that I love, surrounded by bush, birds, kangaroos and the occasional echidna.  I need to maintain a wider view rather than shrinking it down to all the things I haven't accomplished right here in the house and yard.

With this in mind, instead of trying to do more to achieve the organised, perfect life I feel I should be living (you know, the one with no kid's toys dumped where they played, a tidy lounge and clean stove top) I have decided to enjoy our process.  Each day I have taken the time to make a family breakfast and eat together at the table in a leisurely fashion.  This starts us all off in the right frame of mind.  Life is good!  It's meant to be enjoyed.  

Before the children wake, I put the pot of porridge on the fire and set the table with bowls, glasses, water, honey, yoghurt, some fresh fruit or maybe leftover honey baked quinces...  whatever I can think of to make it an enjoyable meal.  No more letting them get their own puffed rice or simply plonking some porridge in front of them.  They're loving the new routine.  Within a week of 'proper' breakfasts, I've heard them discussing at night what they hope might be on the table the next morning.  How lovely that they go to bed anticipating the next day with pleasure!  The small sacrifice of a little time has completely changed the mood of the mornings.  My children feel cosy and nurtured.

And, as if aware of my internal angst, all three children have convinced me that they are learning well.  Pumpkin (8 yrs) has been ravenously devouring books from the library faster than I can borrow them,  Belle (12 yrs) pulls out the lap top in the evening, after milking, and continues research for her project on Peru with enthusiasm while Buddy (9 yrs) has mastered a new skill.  In the last week he has grasped the concept of addition while he works with an online program augmented with cuisenaire blocks.  He uses the blocks to represent the dots that flash up on the screen and then disappear.  He has to remember the dots, group the correct amount of blocks, then counts them up and uses terms like "two and three altogether is..." and "two and five makes...".  The use of the different phrases shows me he truly understands the concept now rather than just learning by rote.  He then enters his answer on the computer to see if he gets a tick.  He was even heard this week exclaiming, "I'm a genius!" as he received a tick.  Yes my boy, you truly are!  Thank you kids for proving, in such a timely manner, that you are indeed learning.

I look around the room at a bench that needs to be tidied, clothes that need to be folded, a floor that needs to be swept.  I know that I will bake today if we are to have snacks.  I will be going to town to the stock feed store.  All these tasks I will complete as I am able, after feeding the chooks, checking water and letting out the goats.  And if I don't get them done today I will do them tomorrow.  I am treating my chores as I would the children.  I'm putting my foot down and telling them not to scream at me.  "Chores, just speak to me quietly, say 'excuse me' and then wait nicely.  I will get to you when I can."

Now if you need me you'll find me outside doing my work whilst stopping to smell the roses.  Have a great weekend!

Sunday

As the rays of the sun turn golden (and I dream of photography skills yet to master) I contemplate the work we've done.  A productive day, full of small but significant achievements.

The cooked quinces hang in muslin, dripping out the fragrant juice in preparation for more quince jelly.

The electric netting fence, which I expect to be pivotal in our new system of intensive rotation, is up and running.  A basic shelter to meet the chook's needs has been completed.

A tagaste has been planted in the paddock and protected by scrounged pallets.

The Australorps have called an impromptu meeting to decide what needs to happen.  How do they negotiate this new fence to return to their pen??

The goats are in their pen waiting to be milked.  The goats savour milking time, as do we.  For them it means food and our company; for us, it means their company and snowy, fresh milk!

The geese wander in a pack, wondering exactly when they can expect some grain, nibbling at the tender, new grass as they go.

As an end to the day, I created a temporary seat in the paddock, thrown together (amongst the horse manure) with bricks and a plank.  I love it when we achieve something new and I like to sit and admire the day's work.  Satisfaction fills me as I picture, in my mind's eye, the fertile place I hope to create.  I also love reflecting on how far we have already come.  Yep!  It's been a good Sunday!

Did you have a lovely Sunday?

A time for work

The talks by Joel Salatin that I recently attended worked like a shot in the arm; an injection of energy.  There's nothing like inspiration to awaken/rekindle motivation and get the blood flowing.

I wake each morning full of energy and with many ideas of things I would like to achieve in the day.  Sometimes I even find myself outside in my nightie and slippers before I know what's happened!  The timing of the talks was serendipitous too.  Why?  This is the time of year for work.  The weather conditions for plants, the comfort levels of working and the amount of time available are all better at this time.

The summer heat has gone, it's even raining regularly at the moment.  Cool days and a gentle soaking means everything planted stands a chance of becoming established before next summer arrives.

The temperature is perfect for work too.  The days are chilly so I don a jacket, hat and scarf when I head out but I can manage some serious physical work on these cool days.  It doesn't take long before shoveling out a trailer of manure has me stripping down to a t-shirt.  In summer, I would only last five minutes before giving up.

Autumn is also more generous with allowing me time.  Spring in the garden means soil preparation, planting, fertilising; summer is for watering and heat management and extra attention for the animals.  Late summer is a crazy time of year because so many fruits and veggies are ready and need to be dealt with.  As I learn more about preserving, each summer I am busier in the kitchen.  Now, with my shelves as ready as they will be and only the promise of a day of picking a friend's olives ahead of me, I'm out working.

I've been leaving my trailer at a near-by stable and picking it up a couple a days later, laden with stinky goodness for my paddocks and garden.  I've been shoveling it straight onto the top of the paddocks.  Because we are on a hill, I layer it thickly at the top end and hope that gravity will work in my favour over the next couple of months.  I imagine the rain and chooks will help it spread further down the paddocks without much actual intervention from me.  Occasionally, living on a hill has its benefits.

Daily we drop in to the post office in the hopes that our electric netting fence, that we ordered online, will be there.  When it arrives, we can put our chooks out in the paddock to do their best work.  They can scratch and peck at the moist dirt, spreading the aforementioned manure as they go.  With a bit of luck and a little management, the dirt may transition to become a layer of actual soil in the next season or so!  Last year, I laid branches across one of the paddocks on the contours and I can already see they are beginning to hold the soil and create flatter, more grassy spots.  The addition of some fertility should make a good improvement.

Sometimes I layer the manure with straw or hay from the goat pens to create a nice, hot compost.  It makes a beautiful addition to the garden beds!

Our does have been to visit a local buck.  He's a bit of a stud actually so I wait with baited breath now, hoping that they don't cycle again.  We're hopeful for some lovely baby goats in about five months time....

I have planted tagasaste for forage and put in some apricot seeds.  These were saved from apricots we ate.  I put the seeds in the fridge to plant out later in the year.  They were starting to sprout in the fridge however, so I've sown them and made little plastic covers in the hopes of seeing them through winter.  So far, so good.  They have shot up out of the ground and look great.  I will use these as forage for the goats as well.

I've planted elder-flowers, jerusalem artichokes, and a wormwood grown from a cutting.  The wormwood is next to the chook shed as an insect repellent.  I'm hoping all my new systems are more established by next summer and that life will be easier and more comfortable for us and the animals alike.  I'm deliberately planting chook plants near the chooks and goat plants near the goats to make our work flow.

Belle and I asked Hubby to show us how to use the power drill and we're ridiculously proud of ourselves!  We made a goat shelter from pallets.  I've since collected heaps more pallets ready to scatter shelters all over our property.  Armed with my newly found power tool skills, I've also created a clothes rack for the winter months so that we don't spend all our time negotiating clothes hanging on clothes horses set up in the lounge room.  I'll hang it upstairs to catch the rising heat and the ceilings are higher there so I can raise the clothes out of my way.

Daisy overseeing the construction

I'm also dreaming of completing the bulk of our hard physical work before winter really sets in.  I'm picturing gentle days inside near the fire, crafting, spinning and cooking up winter delights to serve at the end of a short and chilly day.  I like the idea of winter being a time of rest and recuperation before the busyness of Spring and the yearly cycle begin again.

Do you find that each year follows a pattern (or rythym.....  I love the peaceful sound of that term) and are you working harder than usual now?

A Steiner special school and Organising a break from the farm

Recently, the kids and I attended a camp.  I knew I was going to like it but didn't realise what a huge impact it was going to have on me.

The camp was organised by the Melbourne Waldorf Farm School.  They are a group of Steiner connected people who are in the process of organising a Steiner special school.  It would be the first of its kind in Australia.

The vision is for the school to operate as a working farm and incorporate residential housing for elderly folk as well as people with disabilities.  I love the concept.  They are creating a place that is useful and where everyone would be involved in a very real way regardless of ability.  The way I believe the world should be.

The experience of the camp left me wishing I could be involved when the school is operational.  The days the children and I spent there were incredible.  We were immediately immersed in the most connected and nurturing environment I have ever found myself in.  We were a community of people who cared about each other by the time we left. 

There were opportunities for Buddy to experience new activities as well as felting and music and singing for all of us.  Buddy's sisters had the opportunity to part from him and each other while playing, and to meet many other children with disabilities.  Pumpkin announced on the way home that she would like to work with people with disabilities when she grows up (because they are so nice). 

The parents were nurtured and, through various activities and in-depth discussion, felt very deep connections with each other by the time we went home.  The school will be in the outer eastern suburbs of Melbourne; too far for us although I toyed with the idea of moving for a while.  I would encourage anyone with an interest, to get involved.  You would be welcomed.  Tell your friends and spread the word.  The families who end up at this school will be very fortunate.  The school is in it's initial stages and those who get involved will be instrumental in helping this concept become a reality.

Hubby was left at home, as usual, to care for the animals.  It's the only way the children and I have been able to go anywhere over the last couple of years.  He gets up early for work to put animals in paddocks and stays up late milking, feeding, watering, and locking up.  I was beginning to feel as though we could never go away as a family again.

A friend, who was aware of our situation, organised a three day beach trip for us and pushed me encouraged me to stop procrastinating and find a way to leave our farm.  I put the word out on Facebook and a few friends offered their services.  I chose this medium because I felt I wasn't putting anyone on the spot.  It seemed such a big ask!  This way, those who wanted to come forward, did.

With two people able to help on the selected dates, we began our organising.  I was determined to make it as easy as possible for our generous volunteer friends. 

We organised self feeders for the chooks (I usually feed mash) so that feed and water only needed to be checked and filled if low.  We made up the daily feeds for the goats in ziplock bags - yes, I know shouldn't use plastic but I was desperate to make it easy!  The goats' feeds are individualised so we labelled each bag and labelled the pens.  We even wrote a brief descriptor above each pen in case the naughty girls took advantage of inexperienced carers and swapped pens.  We labelled food containers and the receptacle (an old dishwasher put to new use) where we keep first aid equipment and minerals.

Our evening helper came over to learn to milk and be shown the ropes.  Goats' hay feeders filled, chooks locked up, goats up from paddock, buckets and washing water organised, goats milked and fed, milk strained and buckets washed ready for the next day.  She was very enthusiastic and made me feel comfortable about asking her to take the task on.

Our morning volunteer was a neighbour who has helped in a couple of emergencies and already knew the ropes.  The chooks to be let out, hay in paddocks, goats out.  Her farm is a similar setup to ours, with many of the same livestock.  She is a kind and generous neighbour who happily helped us out!  This same neighbour has come and helped when one of the goats was sick and has lent me her caged trailer when my girl goats were wanting to travel to a buck because they were looking for love.

We only had one hiccough while we were away.  I wasn't clear enough with the days I needed help and there was a morning when the animals weren't let out.  A lesson to me for next time - specify exact days!

All in all, I think we organised the care of our farm fairly well.  If you are in a similar situation, don't be scared to ask.  There are probably people out there that would be happy to help you.  Make it as easy as you can by taking notice as you go about your chores.  You'll think of ways to simplify your system for inexperienced helpers.  Make sure you prepare anything that you can in advance and make sure that you leave a contact number.

I'm sure, one day, we will be asked to provide reciprocal care and my friends will be comfortable to ask me seeing as they have already cared for our animals.  It's lovely to be able to walk away from the daily grind every now and again and well worth the effort of organising the carers.

 Happy holidays!!!

Feed calls

When you're on property, you find yourself behaving in ways you never imagined while living a town life.

Daily we feed the animals.

Here chook, chook, chook, chook, chook.  In the Front Pen (yes, imaginative name) we supposedly house our Orpington chooks but in reality it has become our gentle pen....... the pen for elderly hens, hens with bad gaits, chooks that get picked on.

Here chook, chook, chook, chook, chook.  The Australorps.

Here chook, chook, chook, chook, chook.  This  pen is the goose pen.  So named because it used to house the geese!  Now it's supposed to house only the silver dorkings but has sort of become the containment pen.  When little chickens keep getting in my veggie garden they are likely to end up in here because it's the only pen that can keep little goslings or chickens from getting out.

Here goose, goose, goose, goose.  These guys free range, usually in the orchard.  And I have a favourite by default.  He is named Rebecca.  Ooops!  She's a he!  But still Rebecca.

Then there are the goats.  Come on Daisy.  Come on Gooey.  Come on Esmeralda.  Come on Daisy.  DAISY!!!  Would. you. COME ON!

We have the dogs later in the evening.  SpottyOscAR.  SpottyOscAR.  Always one word for Spot and Oscar.  Always the sing song lilt.

Last but not least is Nutmeg, the cat.  Well, actually, we never need to call her.  She's a cat. She tells us when she wants to be fed.  But if we ever call her, the call is 'Nutty, here puss, puss, puss.  Heeeere Nutty.'

So there you have it.  Behaving in ways you never imagined.  Apparently each group of animals must be called in the same way, the same number of times for their particular species, in the same tone of voice.

Also once named, anything on property remains named.  Rebecca remains Rebecca.  The Goose Pen is The Goose Pen regardless of who's in there.  The Dry Dam remains The Dry Dam even when full of water (not often) and our orchard is 'out the back' although it's at the front of our home.  (When we moved here we were living in another tumbledown house in a different position.)

Have you developed any strange behaviours while living rurally?

Evenings

Living on property and having animals makes for busy evenings.  Each day around here is different.  Sometimes our days are filled with appointments, sometimes we go to the pool for summer holiday fun, sometimes it's housework and shopping.  Today we're picking up a new milking goat and I'm tossing up a trip to buy fruit for preserving.  However, no matter what happens during the day, through necessity, the evenings are all pretty much the same.

I love going through the routine at days end.  Wandering to the orchard with a bucket and spoon, making up a mash for the poultry.   It's the back chooks that are fed first, followed by the dorkings, then the geese.  Lastly I feed the front chooks and leave a little in the bottom of the bucket for our lone duck.  (Must address that and find myself an appleyard drake)  The bucket is left with the duck ready to pick up the next day as I go through the process again.

Meanwhile, Belle makes up the food for the goats and fills their overnight hayfeeders.  We are both very popular with all our livestock at this time of day.  Chooks, duck and geese run after us eager for something yummy.  The kid goat maaa's away to tell us he's hungry too.

A hopeful goose!

I find a few leaves to place on the hay racks.  At this time of day we just use forage to entice the goats up to their night pens.  In the mornings, I cut more substantial forage to keep them happy in their paddock.

At this time of year, I need to attend to the garden next.  It's a rare day that I don't need to water!  Pots, a couple of the winter beds and my main summer bed, the round garden, all need to be watered.  This is a time I use to inspect the garden as well.  I've learnt a lot about gardening this year so we have some good results showing.  It's nice to check for ripening tomatoes and to wonder how I will know when the eggplant is ready.  I have one reasonably large one on the bush and I've been waiting for it to become an eggplant-y shape but wonder if it's just not going to be an elongated one.  Do you know how to tell when they're ready?

There was one special evening this week on which we were treated to a special concert complete with tickets, seating and a raffle!

It's not all roses though because I need to make the difficult decision of which plants get watered properly and which just receive the minimum they need to keep them alive through the summer.  Water is so scarce here.  Whenever it rains, the water soaks into the parched soil rather than running off into the dam.  We need flooding rains to fill it again.  Sadly, this week Victoria received flooding rains but we somehow missed out.  We had plenty of beautiful rain on the garden but not enough to fill our dams.  My rhubarb is a sorry sight as it is one of the plants I've held the water back from so that I can grow the annual veggies well.

Once the watering is complete it's back into the house and back to reality.  The mundane tasks of dishes to be dealt with, picking up some of the days mess, tallying up all the jobs I didn't get done and wondering where the day went!

Sunday

Just a quick one today because I still have lots to do before the sun goes down!  However I feel like sharing my day with you.

Today I......

started a fresh batch of cheese and lovingly covered it with a blanket to keep it warm.  Keeping up with wood for the fire is usually a challenge at this time of year.  However I was telling Belle that I've never been warmer than since I started making cheese.  Hubby knows it needs to keep up to temperature so makes a special effort to keep the fire burning brightly.  She laughed and reminded me that his first batch of home brewed beer was fussed over even more!

Today I......

Was visited by Tinkerbelle.

and I......

put Belle to work in the nettle patch.  Doesn't everyone give their children jobs on a Sunday?!  Heehee.

I also worked alongside Belle in the kitchen and it was lovely.  She has finally mastered the tearing of a sheet of baking paper.

Today I......

Washed up more Vacola jars.  One of these days I tell you all about the acquisition of these wonderful jars.  I love looking at them and dreaming of filling all of them one of these summers.

I also tended my animals.  It's a job I love.  This is my new Orpington Rooster and I just adore him!

I watched the boys working hard.

I love this time of year.  It's so cosy inside but there are still plenty of opportunities to get outside and do hard work without getting too hot.

Right now, Hubby has taken all three children with him to go shopping!  It rarely happens that he takes all three and I'm loving it!  Kinda like a weekend away - peace, quiet, a rest for my senses.  I'm always on the alert usually.  Must fly.   I'm off to feed the chookies some warm whey with their mash.

I hope you're loving winter too.  What did you do with your weekend?

A confronting meal

I will be writing here about killing our young goats so please stop reading now if you wish.  There are no distressing photos.  Only my thoughts around the issue.

In February I was offered our milking doe back by the lady who had been keeping her.  She was overstocked with goats and needed a couple to go.

I happily snapped up the chance.  We are now better positioned to cope with milking goats than the first time we tried our hand and found it too difficult.  We took charge of our goat Daisy plus another milking goat with two kids.  The kids had to come with her as they were too young to wean.  They were both boys.  We always knew that they would be returning to their owner to become goat meat.

Let me tell you, I have always even struggled with the concept of eating our own chooks, though we will keep working towards this end.  The sweet little goats took it to a whole 'nother level!  They are so beautiful, have definite personalities and became very much a part of the place.  I was determined not to become attached to them or to have much to do with them at all.  They had other ideas!  Because of their size, they could easily escape the fence and often did.  They would be up near the house yard, frolicking and romping with the dogs, sheep and horse.  We would often find ourselves laughing as we watched them play.  Hubby jokingly called them Heckle and Jeckle a couple of times and the names stuck.  Damn.  Big mistake.  Never name an animal that is destined for the pot.

Heckle and Jeckle began showing far too much interest in the does over the last couple of weeks.  We can't have the does breeding with their offspring.  They were also becoming much more destructive of the plants outside of our yard fence.  We knew it was time for them to go back no matter how badly I felt.  They were not ours to keep.

We borrowed a trailer with a cage to transport them.  I prepared the family emotionally for the parting and rang the lady to organise taking them back.  I figured she would grow them on for a month or so before using them for the table. Imagine my shock when she told me they were still overstocked to the point that they had no room and they would kill them off the back of the trailer rather than have to rehouse them and do it later.  It made perfect practical sense but OHHH......!  I wasn't ready for this! 

We decided Hubby would go alone.  It would be too much for the children to witness the beloved kids being killed.  And do you know, as much as I want to be tough and pragmatic about killing our own meat, I was very relieved not to go.  I think I would have been extremely upset.

We weren't sure how we would catch them to put them in the trailer but those curious kids just jumped right in because they wanted to see what was going on!  While it was very convenient, it kinda made it worse.  They were so trusting of us.  We said our goodbyes and watched Hubby drive away.

We thought he would be gone for just over an hour with the driving and drop off time.  He arrived home about three hours later.  He had been invited to stay and help and jumped at the chance!  He told me the kids were dispatched very respectfully.  There was some sort of gun used which stunned them so they had no idea what had happened.  The second kid was never taken near the first so he had no inkling of what was about to happen.  There were even some tagasaste leaves in the trailer when it came home so I suspect our friend made sure he was comfortable and happy until the end.

Hubby learned a lot by helping with the butchering.  It was a great opportunity for him because we may want to butcher our own animals at some point.  Our friends offered Hubby half a kid to bring home.  That was an unexpected surprise!  Am I happy about this or not?  I'm not sure.  How can I eat a meal of Heckle or Jeckle?!!

If you don't read here regularly, you may not know my philosophies and be wondering why I would be entertaining the idea.  Well I am a meat eater.  Pure and simple.  I could choose to become vegetarian but I enjoy eating meat and believe it is good for my children and us.  We don't eat a lot of meat and when I do, I like to know it's origins.  I believe that by eating meat from the supermarkets (and sometimes even from the butchers) money is the bottom line, not the animal.  Yes, it will hurt me to eat Heckle or Jeckle and I don't even know if I will be able to swallow that meal yet, but I know Heckle and Jeckle lived a good life, played, ate well, enjoyed the pleasure of space and the company of other goats.  They died without stress and were respected till the very end.

You may not like my choice to eat meat but I hope you respect me for my efforts to do it ethically because, trust me, it is not easy.  It takes time, effort and it's a huge psychological challenge but I would rather be realistic about where my meat comes from than the alternative.  I don't waltz into a store and buy a neat and overpackaged portion of meat without a second thought for the animal or whether it lived a miserable life or died a stressful death.  In my mind, if I can't confront what I am actually doing when I eat meat, I shouldn't have the right to eat it.  It is an animal.  That's the reality so many people conveniently choose to ignore.  I have been honest with the children about it too.  Although we had no expectation that we would be eating these particular kids, I don't want to hide the truth of it from them.  If they are to be meat eaters, they need to know.

So thank you to our friends for your respectful handling of the animals we had come to know.  Thank you Heckle.  Thank you Jeckle.  I feel sort of guilty but  I am glad you lived a good life here and died a good death.  

The messiness of green

As you know my family and I strive to tread lightly.  And what a way to live!  We have chooks, a garden, geese, milking goats, make soap, our own washing powder, cook from scratch where possible...  We live in a lovely patch of native bushland where kangaroos, wallabies and echidnas roam freely.  We home school the children who are still living with us.  Sounds idyllic really, doesn't it?

And I suppose it is idyllic but it certainly isn't smooth.  The down side to a green way of living is the messiness.  Both the actual physical mess and the muddly chaos that often reigns.  It's impossible to run to a smooth, repeated routine when you are relying on yourself for so much.  For example, I haven't made soap for ages.  I should make it regularly.  I should decide that every three or four weeks should be soap making time.  But when three weeks rolls around and I still have soap in the bathroom it just doesn't seem so important anymore.  By then something else urgent has come up.  I need to make a batch of compost or the chook shed needs to be cleaned etc.

As for the physical mess, that's easy to explain.  While conventional mothers are washing their floors, I'm kneading a batch of sour dough bread.  I'm puffing flour onto the kitchen floor with each stretch of the dough.  Then I'm making pastry.  After blind baking, I try to pour the lentils I've used as weights, back into the jar.  A few escape and also make their way to the floor.  Splashing and sploshing, I whip up a yummy filling, creating mountains of dishes along the way.  Right.  Now.  Now I'll do that floor.

That's when I hear that chook bakawking.  If I leave her egg there the others may try and eat it so I race out to the orchard to collect her egg.  Ooh look!  That tree looks like it's droopy.  I'd better give it a quick water. 

You get the idea.  I haven't even included the kids in this little scenario.  Admittedly, even without the kids and an effort at a sustainable life, my house would still not be perfect.  I can think of a thousand things that are more interesting than housework!  But it wouldn't be so frantically chaotic.

It's all too easy to be an 'oversharer' when you write from the anonymity of your own lounge so I generally avoid getting too open.  But then I realised I started writing this blog to share our experience of our lifestyle.  Well, this chaos is an unavoidable part of that lifestyle for many busy families and the chaos can cause a good deal of stress.  I've decided it's a good thing to mention here because there may be lots of us feeling that we're not keeping it together when in fact, we're just trying to do to much.

There are times I feel I do nothing well and that I can't get organised.  It can really get me down.  I need to work on my expectations of myself and our lifestyle.  I'm not really whinging here because I wouldn't have it any other way.  I am living the life I choose to live.  I love the life I choose to live.  It is full of wonder and achievement and satisfaction.  It is a life with true meaning that I feel is worthwhile. However it is a life full of challenges which can sometimes bring me undone.  I want to be honest about the hard times with you because maybe you are struggling along with me some days.  Somehow it's easier if we know we're not alone.

I caught up with family on the weekend and it was wonderful!  I said something to one of the generation Y young men about me being a hippy.  He insisted I wasn't a hippy so I asked what he thought I was.  He told me with no hesitation that I'm a greenie.  I'm okay with that.

If I had to remove labels from myself and just give a description, I would say that I'm just a mum trying to raise a happy family and save the world for her children.  Not a small task!