Conscious slowing

I'm often driven by a frantic feeling of rush and tear.  This is partly due to the fact that I'm so determined to live a low carbon life that I try to do it all NOW.  Grow our veggies, cook all our food, raise animals for milk and meat.  Mend, sew, build....  The feeling is compounded by the responsibility of teaching my children at home.

Lately I've been reflecting on our busy lives because I've been panicking somewhat about my children's education. Trying to squeeze in lessons and still get organised in the veggie garden and on the farm.  Life was feeling crazily out of control with me sitting at the pivotal centre point. Pressure!

My scrap paper with shorter lists - what I get done is good enough

However, thinking about my alternatives (school) quickly snapped me out of it. I don't want my children in school.  And I certainly don't want them there just because I'm bad at time management!  That would not be the right reason to make such a major life change for them and for me.

Tossing up all my options had me thinking about the upsides to the way we do things and one of the biggest advantages is that we are not tied to other people's schedules.  We are masters of our own time.  With this in mind, I decided to shrug off that feeling of being constantly on the run.  We can only do, in a day, what is possible.  Besides, all the panicking in the world doesn't help me achieve more. 

We live a beautiful life full of gentle chores like caring for the animals, gardening, preparing food etc.  We go about our days on a hill with views that I love, surrounded by bush, birds, kangaroos and the occasional echidna.  I need to maintain a wider view rather than shrinking it down to all the things I haven't accomplished right here in the house and yard.

With this in mind, instead of trying to do more to achieve the organised, perfect life I feel I should be living (you know, the one with no kid's toys dumped where they played, a tidy lounge and clean stove top) I have decided to enjoy our process.  Each day I have taken the time to make a family breakfast and eat together at the table in a leisurely fashion.  This starts us all off in the right frame of mind.  Life is good!  It's meant to be enjoyed.  

Before the children wake, I put the pot of porridge on the fire and set the table with bowls, glasses, water, honey, yoghurt, some fresh fruit or maybe leftover honey baked quinces...  whatever I can think of to make it an enjoyable meal.  No more letting them get their own puffed rice or simply plonking some porridge in front of them.  They're loving the new routine.  Within a week of 'proper' breakfasts, I've heard them discussing at night what they hope might be on the table the next morning.  How lovely that they go to bed anticipating the next day with pleasure!  The small sacrifice of a little time has completely changed the mood of the mornings.  My children feel cosy and nurtured.

And, as if aware of my internal angst, all three children have convinced me that they are learning well.  Pumpkin (8 yrs) has been ravenously devouring books from the library faster than I can borrow them,  Belle (12 yrs) pulls out the lap top in the evening, after milking, and continues research for her project on Peru with enthusiasm while Buddy (9 yrs) has mastered a new skill.  In the last week he has grasped the concept of addition while he works with an online program augmented with cuisenaire blocks.  He uses the blocks to represent the dots that flash up on the screen and then disappear.  He has to remember the dots, group the correct amount of blocks, then counts them up and uses terms like "two and three altogether is..." and "two and five makes...".  The use of the different phrases shows me he truly understands the concept now rather than just learning by rote.  He then enters his answer on the computer to see if he gets a tick.  He was even heard this week exclaiming, "I'm a genius!" as he received a tick.  Yes my boy, you truly are!  Thank you kids for proving, in such a timely manner, that you are indeed learning.

I look around the room at a bench that needs to be tidied, clothes that need to be folded, a floor that needs to be swept.  I know that I will bake today if we are to have snacks.  I will be going to town to the stock feed store.  All these tasks I will complete as I am able, after feeding the chooks, checking water and letting out the goats.  And if I don't get them done today I will do them tomorrow.  I am treating my chores as I would the children.  I'm putting my foot down and telling them not to scream at me.  "Chores, just speak to me quietly, say 'excuse me' and then wait nicely.  I will get to you when I can."

Now if you need me you'll find me outside doing my work whilst stopping to smell the roses.  Have a great weekend!

A normal difference - a post about diversity

A conversation with Lou Lou on preparing her daughter for school, really got me thinking.  I had similar issues when Buddy began school.  Trying to work out whether to expect no issues and an easy transistion, or to prepare for difficulties and having to educate others on difference.  I took the path of winding myself up to a ridiculous extent.  I was sick with worry.  Worked well really!  The picture I'd painted in my mind was sooo bad that I was, of course, relieved and delighted at how painless it was.  It was sort of like the feeling you'd get if, while falling from a tree, you expected to break a bone but suffered only bruises instead.  However, it's not a method I'd recommend.  All we can do is hope to change perspectives until we reach a stage that diversity is truly welcomed.

We are all different.  We look different, have different jobs, hobbies, favourite foods, live in different areas with different coloured paint on the walls.  We're married, single, divorced, employed, unemployed, young, old or in between.  We have different cultures, beliefs and states of health. We spend our leisure time differently; some choose to read a book, others dine out, go to parties or play sport.  These differences are accepted and embraced.   Life would be so very boring if we were all the same.

Difference is measured by the majority so the further you stray from the mainstream the more 'different' your unique situation becomes.  And that's when it becomes occasionally problematic.  What is it about our society that it sometimes struggles to accept anything that strays from the norm?

I know you have your own differences.  Some may be large and some small.  Us too.  I used to feel unusual due to our lifestyle.  We choose to live in a way that is respectful of the environment and, with that as my goal, we didn't care if it seemed strange to some that our crockery didn't match, we had a compost toilet on the verandah (isolated property), or that I had holes in my jeans.  As a big picture issue these details were unimportant.

Happily, lately more and more people are living as we do and moving away from a world where money and possesions are the be all and end all.  I've also gradually met more people who live like us due to concerns about climate change.  Therefore our lifestyle is moving toward mainstream and becoming normalised.  In this particular case, I'd be delighted to see one of our differences become the normal for the majority of the population because lifestyles need change.  Climate change is becoming an urgent problem and needs serious action to be taken on every level, from individual households, to organisations and governments.  I'm not even going to bother searching for links to back up my statements here.  You know it's true, and if you don't, take a minute to do some basic research.

However, I don't aim for all of our family's uniquenesses to become the same for everyone.  I shouldn't need to be 'the same' to expect acceptance.  Our family has three ways in which we digress from the path most are taking.  My children are homeschooled.  My daughter is living in a gay relationship.  My son has Down syndrome.

Here's the thing.  These things are not differences to us.  They are our normal!

You have no idea how often my poor children get asked "Why aren't you in school today?"  But that's ok because people are totally unused to seeing *gasp* children  older than toddlers in our world during the hours of  nine till three thirty.  There's no malice in the question but it gets a bit annoying in its repetitiveness.  And then there are the judgements.  Are the children socialising?  Are they going to learn properly?  Are our family sure we're doing the right thing?  Umm.... no, but is any family sure?  Can any family predict a happy future for their child?

As for Down syndrome, I struggle with the balance of normal versus different.  You see, I want my son to be accepted as normal.  He is a boy first and foremost.  He's my boy.  Not my 'Down syndrome child'.  If I'm honest with you, I can't even see his Down syndrome.  I know he has features which distinguish him as having unique chromosomes.  His facial features are different, as are his rate of growth and his rate of learning.  But his cuddles and kisses feel the same.  His contributions to our family feel the same.  And his games and his jokes.  He messes his room up just the same as his sisters and gets yelled at asked to tidy it, just the same.  He is so much 'the same' that occasionally I stare at him and try to imagine how he seems through other people eyes because - I truly can't see it!!  But my struggle?  Well, while I want everyone to see him as any other little boy, I also want them to be understanding of his struggles.  Because things are harder for him.  Where other things come naturally to my girls, Buddy has to really work hard to learn them.  I have great respect for my boy who watches others constantly to learn the correct social behaviour; who has spent hours learning how to fold clothes properly because he wants to be able to fold them well; who struggles to do difficult buttons and needs my help often, while knowing other children his age don't need mums to dress them.  So yes, I want you to accept Buddy as normal while appealing for you to be patient and understanding of  his difference.  I want you to converse with him and expect him to understand.  He may understand, he may not, but he'll sure enjoy the chat.  I want you to invite him to play with your kids.  I want you to expect him to grow up to be employable, drive a car, complete adult education courses.  I want you to see him as the clever little boy that he is!  Your attitude affects his view and expectations of himself.

The 'manly' expression

Joining tug-o-war at a family fun day

As for my daughter in a same sex relationship, it is very difficult because these relationships are judged by so many in society.  Somehow people find this a threatening issue.  Lou Lou has been with her partner for years.  They have gone to a lot of trouble and expense with IVF to produce me a delightful granddaughter.  TOM (The other mother) and Lou Lou have bought a home together, keep it very well - it's much tidier than mine - made home improvements, paid bills, socialised as a family, argued with each other and made up again.  They've lived in a real relationship with its ups, downs and responsibilities.  Ella has pet cats, chooks, a cubby house and loves to read books.  She goes to kindergarten and is looking forward to school next year.  Her parents deliberate over where best to educate her and also discuss daily parenting and discipline styles.  In short, their family is so much the same as many, many families.  Most people are very accepting but those that aren't feel they have the right to be vocal.  Do they not realise the effect they could have on children from these relationships?!  These are Ella's parents!  This is her normal.  Nothing different about it in her mind.  Lou Lou talks openly about their family's differences with Ella because different is ok.  What she can't share with Ella are society's judgments.  She can't tell Ella that her parents are not legally allowed to marry.  This carries with it a message that her family is sooo wrong and her parents relationship is sooo unacceptable that even the government frown upon it and see it as illegal!  A heartbreaking view for any child that is being raised in a warm, loving and thoughtful environment.

such a little/big girl

my two granddaughters

Ella, cooking with Lou Lou

So, what do you do if you have some major ways that you differ from those around you?  You acknowlege the difference. (I don't convince the kids that Buddy doesn't have Down syndrome or that the rest of the world should home school)  Apart from that, do nothing.  Get on with your lives.  They are more normal than they are different.  I don't dwell on our differences or make a big deal about them.  They are what they are and they're really ok!  Despite my family's three main differences, we are normal, we are happy, we are all productive, contributing members of our communities.  We are also lucky to have very accepting friends and feel fully included in our friendship circles.

So what do you do if you are one of those on the outside observing the differences?  You do nothing.  You accept other people as they are.  Hopefully you even embrace the diversity.  If you really struggle with acceptance, then possibly you should do a bit of soul searching to see why you have issues with how others are living their lives.  Lives that don't affect how you choose to live yours.

While our differences can't really affect other people's day to day life, negative opinions can cause us unnecessary pressure and emotional angst while we go about our lives, living them the best we can.  Opinions shouldn't matter and deserve to be shrugged off but the nature of humans means it's not that simple.  We take things on board.  So hey - like us, love us, admire us, be our friend and we'll accept you just the way you are too.

I wonder how different your normal might be.

Self care

There's been quite a silence from me recently.  You may have noticed I regularly have spurts of blogging and spurts of nothingness.  If I've not been writing, one of three things have likely happened.....

1. I've been so busy with projects and fun stuff that I haven't had time to write.
2. I've decided I'm finally going to get life 'right' and I'm putting all my time and energy into organising the house and kids.  Always a nuisance when I get into this mode because I waste precious time sweeping and wiping surfaces!!
3. I'm overwhelmed, exhausted and feeling like a failure.

This time around it was number three.  One of the down sides with trying to live thoughtfully and with respect for the planet with which we are blessed is that often we are time poor.  Since I began teaching the children at home I have really struggled with time issues.

I still want to find time to cook most of our food from scratch to avoid shortcuts that mean creating waste.  I want to garden to avoid feeding my children food with residual pesticides.  I want to make cleaners, again to avoid packaging waste.  I'd like to sew rather than buy products that have wasted resources in the transport process.  The list goes on and on........

Not only do I want to do all of this; I want to do it all perfectly!!  Of course.  For the last few months I have been feeling very tired.  Near on exhausted.  But I couldn't see a solution.  Especially because, even in this state, I keep jumping at opportunities to learn new skills.  A new recipe here, how to dispatch a goose there, how to pickle.....  So I just kept putting one foot in front of the other and trying not to think about it.

Now, this is not a once off exhaustion.  This is a pattern I follow.  I think it's probably something many of you who are greening your lives can identify with.  A lifestyle danger if you will.  On other occasions I have reached crisis point by exploding with the kids or by falling into a sobbing heap.  Last time, I decided to really take notice of the warning signs and be proactive in fending off an inevitable collapse.  But how............?

I thought long and hard about what I felt I needed.  I decided I just. needed. to. STOP!!!! I didn't want to feed another chook, milk another goat, teach another child, book another appointment, clean another mess - all the things that make up our day.  I didn't even feel like talking to Hubby once the kids went to bed because I was so worn out from doing and thinking.

So there it was identified, I needed a break.

I am very lucky.  I rang and asked my mother, feeling very guilty, if she could take the children and she didn't hesitate.  She and Dad looked after the kids for two days even overseeing their lessons for me.  Hubby took on a load as he worked all day and then cared for the animals and milked.  Belle and I did heaps of preparation to cut down the work and I think it helped him.

I booked a room near Rosie so I could squeeze in a visit with her and my lovely granddaughter.  I spent two days listening to relaxation cds, crafting, planning a new daily routine for when I went home and generally just sitting quietly (just being) !

It worked!  I came home refreshed, implemented my new routine and threw myself back into our busy lives.  I kinda felt validated when the kids arrived home.  They were all talking to me at a million miles an hour and it was mayhem and busyness right from the word go.  No easing back into it.  The contrast of my peaceful time made me realise that my life really is very busy and tiring.  The difference is that I have got through my week with it's usual up's, down's and minor crisis's with a sense of humour rather than doom.   I have had energy as I've tackled my work and I've found enjoyment in my everyday tasks.  Cooking and creating a nice environment for my family has been a particular pleasure.  Taking care of myself was really successful in enabling me to care properly again for the others in my life.

Pre-rest photo.  I didn't even get around to icing the cake for poor Belle!

As I stated earlier, I am very lucky to have such caring parents.  I know not everybody has a backup but I hope you have a way to refresh yourself when you need to.  Or more importantly perhaps, the ability to know when you've had enough and it's time to care for YOU!  Maybe you have your own secret weapon to use against burn out.

My muddle

On my good, productive days, I feel gooey!  I'm living the life I've always wanted to live.  What could be better?

However if I'm honest there are lots of bad days too.  Trying to live as sustainably as possible does create extra tasks.  There are the days on which I wake feeling tired before I've begun.  There are days on which I wake to a terrible mess in the morning.

I'm not a night person and will fall into bed at the end of the day without a thought of the dishes waiting by the sink.  But then I wake up to...........

In our home, more often than not, I don't just pop that empty jar into the recycling.  Oh no, not me!  I leave it next to the sink to be washed up ready to use for some gastronomic delight I am yet to make. I can't waste a perfectly good jar!

There's the garden to water, seeds I should have sowed already, animals to care for, milking to be done, chaff to be bought, children to be taught, a house to clean, cooking to be done, clothes to be washed, appointments to be kept.....

I still need to make time for the children to enjoy the things children should.

 

I can't throw out that piece of ribbon!  I might use it one day to pretty up a gift.  So I pop it on the stairs to take up next time I walk past...... and the pile on the stairs grows.

The stale bread can't go in the chook bucket this time.  I'll crumble it and pop it in the freezer when I get a chance so that I have breadcrumbs on hand.  Ooops!  Forgot.  I've now found a green loaf in the pantry.  Similarly the plums need attention.  I've used most of the plums for preserving, jams and sauces.  But there's one bag remaining.  These plums are going soft so I'll turn them into more sauce.  Ooops!  Forgot.  They've created their own version of a sauce by turning into slop as they waited for my attention.

Last night I was pickling as Belle and Hubby bottled cider.  No time for dishes or a tidy up.

Life's not always like this.  Sometimes I turn my attention to the house, tidy it up and swear I'll never get behind again.  But then I notice the garden is suffering so I'll turn my attention to outside......

How I long for some consistency!  Or more hours in the day.

Repurposed fruit

We seemed to squeeze so much into the day today without it feeling frantic.  Some days just work better than others!

The children completed some learning, most of which was online.  We use Skwirk and Reading Eggs a lot.  Then it was time to do something the children have been wanting to do for ages.  We brought the bag of doll's clothes outside and set up a laundry complete with tub, washing powder, pegs and a handmade clothes line.  They had a ball!

Buddy and Pumpkin made up some fruit chews made from juice and gelatine.  That's it.  The only ingredients!

Later I found the three children on the couch horse drawn carriage.   We had a driver, princess and a maid.  I love their creative play.  It's interesting to see them all join in the same game, given their different ages and stages.

Then my favourite part of the day......... I found yet another use for preserved fruit that didn't work.  A couple of weeks ago when I finished my preserves I noticed that a couple of jars hadn't sealed.  I'm very new to this preserving business and have a lot to learn.  I think the second hand lids I used weren't up to the job any more.  I emptied the jars of peaches and apricots into a pot, added some plums and stewed it all well.  That night we had a crumble with the mixed fruit.  It was not just ok, it was divine!!

I popped the leftover juice from the stewing pot into a container in the freezer.  Today I blended some of the frozen mix with just a little of our milk and was delighted with the result.  It was like ice cream.  The children were very happy!

Then it was off to the pool for a quick dip and home to make pizza for tea.  I can be quite lazy with food sometimes, encouraging the kids to eat fruit, make sandwiches etc. but I'm sometimes a little bit amazed by the concoctions I come up with when I am in the mood.  Those ruined preserves weren't ruined at all.  They were fruit crumbles and ice cream waiting to be invented!

Tired but productive

It's been a great week around here with lots of busy spring activity taking place.  With the school term starting, we've resumed our weekly activities.  I had missed our Social Swimming program where I get to jump in the pool with the kids and have an hour of songs and fun.

Pumpkin's bathers disintegrated through sheer overuse last term so rather than buy a new pair, I made her a swimming costume.  I can't call them bathers really because they are not very conventional but I had left over fabric from making the bags.   Using a sheet, a pyjama pants pattern and a modified sundress pattern, I came up with an outfit.  Pumpkin LOVES wearing them.

It's been a week of finding a hard-to-find rooster and a pet silky.

 

Uh huh!  You're seeing it right.  It's on her bed!!

A week of expecting six Orpington chicks and getting instead...  only one little chicken which we suspect is a moggy.

This week Argoo went on heat.  (Is that correct goat terminology?)  So we had a rushed visit from a nearby Saanen buck!  It wasn't successful because, while they both showed some interest and pranced around a bit, they didn't do the important bit.  Oh well, I'll try again next month.

The garden has been needing my attention but my efforts are paying off!  We eating lots of beautiful, fresh lettuce at the moment and I've even been organised enough to plant more lettuce to follow!

 

We harvested broad beans this week.  Have you discovered yet how much fun podding is for children?!

 

 



Most of our enthusiasm this week though, has gone into preparing for a trip away.  We're travelling to New South Wales next week to take part in the Flotilla with the Pacific Climate Warriors.   I like involving my children in actions to address climate change because I want them to realise that they are not powerless.  I want them to believe they can play an important part in creating the world they want to live in.

My big lesson for the week has been the realisation of the importance of sleep in our busy lifestyle!  I have been struggling to sleep for some unknown reason and it's driving me mad!  I go to bed, sort of sleep but not quite.  I seem to spend the whole night in a half asleep, half awake state and it has impacted on me.  I'm dragging my feet (and feeling grumpy) during the day.  Our lives are so physical with leading goats up and down hills, carting water etc.  I've realised that after a good, refreshing sleep, I feel able to take on the world but without it I struggle to get through each day.

Now that I've made this clear connection between sleep and my ability to function well, what do I do with this awareness?  Do you ever suffer from insomnia and have you found a solution for it?

A quick note

Dear friends,

I feel like writing you a letter today.  Life's become busy here again but it's all good stuff keeping me on my toes.

I'm helping to organise an event for next weekend. Have you noticed that heaps of different organisations are holding events and rallies on or around the 21st September?  The timing is because The UN are holding an emergency summit on climate change.  Getup, Avaaz and many others are holding events.  People across the world are getting out there and telling our leaders that we want action taken.  Why not google and find an event near you?  If enough of us keep telling them, they can't keep ignoring us!

Our environment group have decided we'd like to make people stop and think about their personal actions so we are going to take some sewing machines to one go our local supermarkets. Hopefully we will be hooked up to solar power and we will sew bags to give to shoppers. Many bags will be pre made but sewing on the spot should catch people's attention. :-). Should be a fun morning!

The garden is happy. We've had more rain which keeps the plants growing quickly and looking lush.  My young silver beet plants aren't quite ready yet so we're eating lots of kale.  Last night we made burritos with some lovely minced chicken and of course I threw in some kale. We buy our chicken monthly. A lady nearby has a business that sources true free range chooks and we receive our delivery once a month.

Our bantam is sitting on some Orpington eggs at the moment. Unfortunately she began sitting too early and only has five eggs under her. I would have liked to hatch more. Yesterday we discovered that one of our orchard chooks is gathering a clutch in our store of hay so I might replace her eggs with more Orpington eggs. She'll do a good job of raising them for me.

We discovered that the ducks, that we thought were slow to lay this spring, are actually laying under a bush!  We don't have a drake, so no ducklings, but know that we know their hiding spot, we'll be able to collect the eggs daily and use them.

The children are doing well and seem very happy. I'm very satisfied with how their natural learning is going. Their interest levels in reading and writing have increased out of sight since I have stopped forcing them to sit and do it. The little ones are forever asking about new words or asking Belle how to spell things. A good example is yesterday's.  Buddy wanted to write a 'keep out' type of message for his door so Belle told him which letters to use to spell out his message.  She then came to me, "Mum, do you know Buddy knows all his letters?!! I only had to help him with the e and the s."  (Lol! Of course I know!). This boosts Buddy's self esteem better than anything. I bet he writes heaps of notes now that he knows his sisters are so proud of him.  And I had to laugh when I quizzed him on the conditions of the notice and apparently I'm allowed in their room to help them tidy and to kiss them goodnight!  Cute. And just now, to illustrate my point, Pumpkin is sitting trying to read my RACV insurance booklet!


It says, "No one comes.  Just us."

Belle is very enthusiastic about our goats and takes pride in being the main milker. She knows how to make up their feeds, prepare for milking, the importance of hygiene, how to milk and measure and record their milk.  She spends a lot of time reading her goat book Get Your Goat by Brent Zimmerman and often quotes me stuff from it that I didn't know.  We are soon going to start recording our costs around the goat's care so that we know the actual costs of our milk right down to including vet bills etc.  I'm going to put her in charge of keeping the records so that she learns about basic bookkeeping.  I know she'll be keen because we are thinking about buying another doe as well as kidding Argoo.  She's very excited at the prospect at increasing what she refers to as 'her herd'.

So as you see, there's lots happening at our place and we are all very well and happy.  I hope life is good for you.  How are your family and what's happening in your neck of the woods?


Lots of love,

Linda

Home Education and the dilemma of style

The longer I homeschool, the further I seem to stray from the mainstream ideas of education.  I have attempted to teach at home twice before (with my older children) and both times I panicked and sent my children back to mainstream government primary schools.  I was scared I wasn't doing it properly and that my children would fail to learn.

There are definitely difficulties when deciding on educating at home. You tend to think very deeply about what your children's needs are, what their futures might be, etc.  When children attend mainstream, parents often don't doubt their choices because that's just what everyone does and society views it as the 'best way' to educate our children.  So, without another thought,we send our children off in the mornings, relaxed in the knowledge that we are doing what we need to for them, and pick them up again in the afternoon.

We're actually not sure about what happened in their day and they are completely unwilling to relate it to us.  "What did you do at school today?"  "Nothing.", is the standard reply.  Then the busyness of afternoon tea, homework, dinner etc takes hold as we prepare to send them off again the next day.

It's amazing how we happily take part in this system with little thought, yet when keeping our children home we are assuaged with doubts and guilt because we are not educating them in the same way as everyone else.  When I originally took the kids out of school, I tried to emulate what happened in the conventional system.  My idea was that we would do formal lessons but for a shorter time than at school.  I figured it would be interesting for the children because they could help guide the topics we studied.  On top of this, I tried to immerse them in our lifestyle of being connected to our food, energy usage, skill learning and attempting to reduce our environmental impact. Ultimately, this would be perfect.  A conventional education as well as learning about their place in nature and our family values.

However, I think I was being unrealistic.  There aren't enough hours in a day.  I don't think this method of learning was good for me or the children.  I was trying to teach as expertly as an experienced, trained teacher and cope with the huge task load at home.  The children were great at sitting down to their lessons and accepted that was what was expected of them but were very obviously bored and uninspired.  They were also under a fair bit of pressure due to having to do lessons and participate so actively in daily life.  I'm going to try a new approach.

I have been alternating between ignoring, and actively arguing against, my gut instincts which were.... to let them play and follow their own interests.  I found myself wanting this more and more but kept thinking it was irresponsible, lazy, selfish  (and a thousand other negative self labels) of me.  I was plagued by questions like, "How will they learn anything?", "Will they resent me later for not having taught them in the same manner as their peers?", "What if they want to go to University but don't know enough?", "What if they can't get a job?"

After many conversations, Hubby and I have decided sit down learning is not right for us at this point and that there is heaps to be learnt by simply being.  And I think it's ok.  After all, how many parents of children at school never mentally torture themselves like this even though the reality is that their child may never achieve a high enough score to enter university, may resent attending school, be miserable or not be able to get a job at the end of it all?  School is perfect for many children but not for all.  Let's face it, I managed to NOT learn my times tables right into high school.  I hated maths, hated being forced to study, so didn't try.  Yet as a young adult I was able to go to university by sitting a mature entrance exam.  Not learning my maths was not the end of the world for me (though I now wish I'd listened at the time, of course).

Over the past year, I have missed out on so many opportunities for natural learning because I was being  'responsible' and stayed home to do lessons.  A lady at our local patchwork group offered to teach Belle embroidery and she was very excited at the prospect but we didn't get around to going down because the group is on a school day.  Another lady, whom I find very interesting and I believe my children would learn a lot from, asked me to visit about a year ago.  For the above reasons, I never made the time.  Also, Pumpkin has been asking repeatedly if I can teach her to knit and I haven't got around to it yet.

Now I want to change the way the children spend their days and immerse them in play and following their interests.  I believe they will learn so much by thinking for themselves, problem solving during play, work and craft and by meeting a diverse range of people.  Today I have watched them playing and they are not idle!  They are incredibly animated as they go about their chosen activity with no adult input.  Buddy and Pumpkin have created a water slide for toys with a puddle at the bottom.  They have also experimented with rolling a barrel down a hill.  That looked like fun! At only seven and eight years they can move a heavy hay bale through a tight space with no adult help.  It took them ages to work it out but, through experimentation and co-operation, they have learnt to work together to move the bail and guide it in the direction they want it to go.  No one showed them but they figured it out.

This week, Belle has learned to pearl and is knitting a very simple pattern for the first time.  And this morning, as if to demonstrate my point about problem solving, I found her in the dairy using a new method to fill the hay bags.  It's hard to keep them open while filling them with bulky armfuls of hay.  I've previously encouraged her to hook one end over a post to help hold the bag, which helps, but it's still difficult.  This morning she came up with a much better method.  She organised herself two posts to hold it open.  She filled it in no time!  I've watched her today and she skips along rather than walking.  I don't think she's even aware she's doing it.  Since educating at home, I have watched her mature past her eleven years in her dealings with the world while simultaneously watching her learn to play like a much younger child at times.  I think it is very healthy for her.

Now I'm not saying there will be no academic learning in this house.  Of course there will.  But I am not going to value it over natural learning.  This afternoon I will finally teach Pumpkin to knit!  Belle is still outside at the moment but I imagine she will choose to continue with her knitting later.  Or maybe write.  She has begun writing her own blog and is very enthusiastic about it.

I know some people will read this post and doubt the sensibility of our choices around our children's education and future.  All I ask is that you take into account that no education style is perfect for all children, that we are not doing this without thought and, just like everyone else, we are doing what we feel is best for our children.  I'm happy for you to watch with interest but I hope that you won't be quick to judge.  We will continue to assess their progress and can change our minds if we feel we need to.

Seize the day

I had a fairly clear plan of what I wanted to do with the kids for lessons today.  Belle was to start with a couple of pages in her maths text book, Buddy Boy and I with a maths lesson and Pumpkin writing a poem.

The morning unfolded and my plans changed.  It was cold this morning.  Very cold.  I had used all the sheltered wood so I went to the pile near the cutting block to collect more.  When I came inside, we all went to the window to admire how the layer of frost on the wood glistened in the sunlight.  It looked magical coated with sparkles!

When we had all dressed and made beds, we headed out to the orchard where we milk the goats each day.  Belle chose to milk while I fed the chooks and refilled hay nets for the evening.

Buddy Boy wandered around feeding the ducks and geese.  Then he called to me, "Mum, I saw something amazing!"  I expected it to be something very boring like the goose drinking water or similar but wandered over to see.  "I saw spikes!  The goose was chasing something with spikes."  We wandered over to the geese and sure enough the goose had chased an echidna which was hiding in a corner.  Buddy Boy was right.  It was amazing!

Then we lay on our tummies in the sunshine waiting for the echidna to move into a good position so that I could snap a photo of his face.  We lay still, whispering quietly and enjoying the sun on our backs while we waited.  When we grew bored of photographing the echidna, Buddy grabbed some more wheat and tried to hand feed the new chicks.  He had no success but it was lovely to listen to him coaxing them.

We watched the geese and rooster arguing over some food then walked the goats back to their paddock.  Finally Buddy rediscovered a doll he had left out in a pram overnight.  I left him playing outside with his 'baby' and went to help Belle.

She was in the kitchen, finishing up the milking.  She had measured out the milk, placed it in the fridge and was in the process of washing the milking buckets.  She was asking about what she could bake and settled on Anzac biscuits.  I found the recipe book for her and left her to it.   I have found she prefers to cook independently and requests help when she needs it.  I poured some boiling water for her and lit the stove.  The rest she did by herself.

Pumpkin and Buddy dried the dishes while I refilled the fire and then we played a game together.  The morning flowed and felt right.  I couldn't bring myself to spoil their wonderful mood and insist they sit at the table with text books out.  Sometime this afternoon I will probably bring out the books for a short while but right now I'm enjoying watching my children just 'being'. 

They've decided to go and play outside for a while.  I asked Belle to recite a couple of tables before they went and we played a counting game for Buddy's benefit and then they ran off to play.  Some days school work seems to be the be-all-and-end-all but other days life itself seems so good that school work doesn't seem so relevant.

We experimented with this candle we say online.  It's just an orange peel with olive oil and it really works!

I love teaching my children at home because it is so flexible.  I place so much importance on the children appreciating nature, being in touch with their world and learning practical skills in a way that makes sense to them.  As a family, our priorities are somewhat different to many in the general population and, like all families, we would like our children to grow up with our values.  I welcome these gentle days that are full of wonder for my children.  I love listening to them laugh, play, imagine and, yes, argue too.

Tomorrow I may feel differently and be frantic about getting through enough lessons.  We have plenty of days like that.  It's hard to find the balance.  But for today, I'm just going to revel in the beautiful people that are my children!